A.W.

I have always hated the term “Ms.” however; even when it was first introduced. For some reason I have never been able to stand it, much the same way that the grammar nazi in me gets cranky when I see people spell women as “womyn” or “wimmin”. As a feminist, I believe there is a point when we become parodies of ourselves, but that’s a topic for a whole ‘nother blog.

In the mean, please just call me Colleen.

When teaching my students usually call me “Professor,” but if someone calls me “Doctor” or “Mr.” instead I’m not going to react poorly to it–it’s a common appellation of respect. Yet some agents find being called Mr. Jeff Kleinman, say, to be ridiculous, arguing that it’s just “not what you call someone.” You, on the other hand, find being called “Ms.” ridiculous. Okay, that’s your prerogative and I respect it. But your personal opinion is not the hard and fast rule that many agents (perhaps not you) seem to think it is, ridiculing well-meaning writers for “violating” that rule–which shifts from agent to agent. I’ve seen nasty notes to that effect. I’m happy to call him Mr. Kleinman and you Colleen. I’m NOT happy to call someone Mr. Frank, say, and get my head bitten off for being so stupid as to use that term instead of “Agent Frank of the X Literary Agency,” for instance. I think that’s a basic level of respect which the agent owes the author–indeed, which any human being owes any human being–and so we’d like the same level of respect in agents’ dealings with us as we try to give them.

As for the tongue in cheek business, the entry actually says “SLIGHTLY tongue in cheek,” in fairness, and I’ve heard much the same line (delivered in all seriousness) from lots of agents and editors. Maybe it’s actually a double or triple TV Guide entry, then; it still doesn’t make it a very likely method of communicating a much more complicated work, as my slightly tongue-in-cheek examples demonstrate. “Short” is one thing, but the advice has now shifted to “ridiculously brief,” and that’s not a positive trend for anyone, in my view.

In any case, I appreciate the comments and your blog–you’re an excellent writer and will be I’m sure an excellent agent (and that is not meant to be tongue-in-cheek in the least). Just don’t forget about the human beings on the other end of the query letters, that’s all! In return, I promise to continue to ridicule writers who give you and other agents unreasonably hard times for doing your jobs. Deal?

A.W.

Re the Shelly Shapiro quote: You failed to mentioned that it says “tongue-in-cheek”

Re MS: I have never liked anyone using an honorific with me ever, especially that one which neither stands for nor is short for anything. I am an informal person; I prefer to have people call me by my first name whenever possible.